Estimated reading time: 5 minutes:-)
It’s been one of those weeks again.
One of those weeks God has taught me so many different little things, I couldn’t decide which one to write about this morning. I seriously spent twenty minutes staring up at the tree in our backyard this morning, trying to pinpoint something to focus on. But I realized (20 minutes later) that the focus this morning wasn’t specifically what I learned, but the fact that God taught me.
I’ll give you a quick update for context. Here’s a super raw summary of life right now:
A long time ago, I decided I wanted to focus on being an author instead of going to college. So the last month has been a long process of most of my best friends leaving for college, and my siblings going back to school while I stay home. I’m just going to be real, it’s super weird. Sad, at times. I’m confident in my decision, but it’s still hard watching most of the people I love moving onto a different season of life without me. FOMO is real, guys.
Instead of college, I’m working right now and taking the next steps as an author. It’s super fun, but it’s also super hard. Rarely do I feel qualified for any of it. I recently had a work decision that really made me “adult” which was a stressful blessing. And my expenses are quickly growing.
My relationships are constantly shifting. Some stay concrete and trustworthy. Some don’t. People are changing in college, some are living their best lives, some are barely staying afloat, and I feel like I’m watching it all happen from a distance. Like a random guy watching a cruise ship out at sea from an island the size of a closet.
Do you see what I mean when I couldn’t pick a single thing to talk about today? Life is crazy and new and joyful and beautiful and hard and sad sometimes and growth-inducing and changing and fun and exciting and frustrating all at once. And that’s just life. To trap it in a box the size of a blog post would be wrong.
But in the midst of it all, God has been teaching me so many things. Here are some stories from the week that stick out to me: (feel free to flip to one that resonates with you and what you’re going through right now!)
Yesterday night, me and my best friend helped with a neighbor’s wedding. I found myself tearing up lettuce for a Caesar salad in a random hotel (these strange, awkward situations just find us, I’m telling you hahaha). And as I stared at the wall, covered in cheesy wallpaper, I just had this moment with God. It was a mixture of me laughing at myself and this weird situation, and a realization that I am so blessed to be single with God. Don’t know why lettuce made me think of that, but it did.
I just had this peace wash over me. And I realized ~ these may be my last years being single and having only God in my heart.
Obviously, God will always be first in my heart. But to have my entire heart, reserved completely for the King of the universe? That’s special. That’s beautiful.
God opened my eyes to the beauty of a season of life that was frustrating to me at times. He reminded me how sacred it is to have Him be the first in my heart.
I’ve had a lot of big decisions to make recently, in all spheres of life. The work decision was one of them, but there are others.
Let me tell you, some days I feel certain about what God wants me to do in a certain situation. Other days, I have no idea. And it’s hard not knowing what to do. I pray that God will help me pick the path that glorifies Him the most. But God’s guidance is hard to listen to sometimes.
Recently, His guidance has looked a lot different than a straight answer. When I ask God what I should do in a certain situation, instead of a clear answer, sometimes He reminds me of His love for me. Or that He’s taking care of me. Or to be still.
And in these moments, I remember that God will use whatever path I choose for His glory. That He will provide and bring good out of any situation.
If God’s ability to fulfill His good plan was hindered by my stupid decisions, He wouldn’t be God. And I found I could rest in the fact that even if I make a stupid decision, a stupid big decision, God will still be good. Maybe you can rest, too:-)
Like I said before, life has been all over the place recently. Which means my emotions have been, too. But I read something recently that opened my eyes to the truth about emotions and their role in our lives.
Emotions are not curses. They are not a result of our sinfulness. But they should never be our guide. Rather, they gage what’s happening on the inside.
An Instagram post phrased it like this:
“God did not intend for or feelings to guide us. He wants that job. God wants to be our guide. Our feelings should not be what drives our decisions but rather an indicator of what’s going on inside us. We must put our trust in what God says and check our feelings at the door with the Word of God.”
I’m learning, instead of making an emotional decision, to stop before making that decision and ask “why am I feeling like this? What do I need to talk about first?” As soon as I ask those questions, all the raging emotions come tumbling out in my conversations with God, and it draws me closer to Him.
How I feel cannot be my guide. Only Jesus can do that.
Here’s a nugget God opened my eyes to this week: what if worship isn’t just music? What if it’s a heart posture?
What if anything could be worship if we angle our efforts toward spreading God’s glory? Painting a house, writing a story, making a meal ~
These, too, can be beautiful acts of worship. God doesn’t fit inside a 3 minute song. Our worship shouldn’t either.
So how can I live my life to worship God always? If the dream is to be at a place where everything I do is worship, how can I live today to work towards that?
Lily Wants to Make You Laugh
Not really a story, but I think it’s important to laugh even when things aren’t going your way, even when life is crazy, even when laughing seems like the last thing you should do right now. Laugh. Laugh without fear of the future. Be silly, don’t be serious all the time. I think God laughs a lot. Laugh with Him:-)
Here are some goofy pictures of my sister to brighten your day! God loves you, He’s taking care of you, and He is good all the time:-)
Also, here’s a really good song:)