Who You Say I Am ~ a Journal About Lies

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes:)

Good morning! Right now I’m probably wrangling some middle schoolers in the mountains ~ I’m now a middle school leader for winter camp which is super fun but WOW drains all my energy. So worth it though.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you a journal I wrote a few days ago.

It’s so easy to believe lies. And it doesn’t matter how illogical or preposterous that lie is ~ it’s still easy to believe it.

My friend Savannah encouraged me to write down all the lies that were swarming me and write the truth right next to them, surrendering those lies to Jesus. So on a night of frustration and loneliness, I decided to follow her advice.

I’m just going to share what I wrote. And I want you to understand: I know these lies are silly. I know they don’t make sense. I hope you don’t read this and think “wow, she really believes that about herself?”

The truth is, in moments of weakness, I do. I do believe these lies, because it’s so easy to believe them when the enemy wiggles them in during a weak moment. Of course I don’t believe them all the time. But I wouldn’t write them down if I didn’t struggle with them.

I just want you to read through this list and think about the lies that might be gripping your heart. Surrendering them to Jesus won’t make you feel better right away, but it’s the first step toward healing from those lies.

So I’m going to be vulnerable with you this morning and just share some of the lies that have been hurting me. And I encourage you to pray about the lies that might be hurting you, too. Here’s what I wrote:

my succulents

2/6/22

Jesus.

I feel like there are these lies in my head that have lived there for so long, it’s like muscle memory to believe them. But I just want to rest them at your feet tonight Jesus. Set my eyes straight on you again.

Lie

I’m weak for wanted to get married and feeling lonely a lot of the time.

No one will ever choose me.

Everybody is watching me, just waiting for me to break, finally give up, finally throw in the towel.

Everybody at church thinks I’m an orphan or something. They all know I need Jesus more than anyone else because I’m so dirty.

Everyone is disappointed in me.

I’m not doing enough.

I’m never going to find my future husband.

I’m not going to last as a Christian. I’m going to turn from Jesus like all those family members have. I’m going to grow bitter and hard ~ and this “on fire for God” thing is only because I’m a young adult.

I’m ugly.

I will never be fully healed.

Truth

I am designed to need community, and I am not weak for following God’s design. Adam walked in the full presence of God in the garden. But God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Even in the full presence of God, it was not good for Adam to have only God.. I am not weak for wanting to get married.

God did.

The only one watching you with that much care is Jesus. And He wants to see you healed, not broken.

I do need Jesus more than anyone else, but that is not a source for shame. It is a source for joy because I know I am loved and saved and cherished by the God of the universe, no matter how dirty I was before! My church is a family, and I am loved and accepted as I am there.

No one is disappointed in you. And even if they were, would that change what God says about you? Even if you were disappointed in yourself, would that change what God says about you? Who has the final word, the world or Jesus Christ?

It’s not about what you’re doing. It’s about what’s been done. Jesus already took your place on the cross. You are already loved and forgiven. You don’t need to work for those things anymore.

God cannot be stopped.

I will finish the race, because it is Christ who lives in me who will sustain me!! And it is Christ who lights that fire in my soul for Him, not my effort or strength. I don’t need to count on my own strength to finish this race ~ Jesus will carry me across the finish line, because I know Him, and that’s who He is.

I was made intentionally and lovingly by the most beautiful God. Every contour of my face, every feature and shade, every inch of my skin he chose for me. He sculpted me with such intentionality that once He was finished, He didn’t look at me and turn up His nose. He said, “I choose her. She is fearfully and beautifully made.”

Yes, you will. We’re talking about Jesus here.

the world's lies vs. God's truth

John 8:31-32 ~ “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'”

“The truth will set you free.”

You want to know something?

When I was a kid, I had this verse written on a piece of paper and stuck to my wall. It was right next to my bed, so every morning I would look at it. And this verse puzzled me, because never before had I thought the “truth” would set me free.

All my life, I pursued “the truth.” I believe it was the best thing I could find.

I dug and dug and dug for knowledge. I memorized verses. I studied the Bible even though I didn’t go to church. I asked so many questions.

I knew everything about Jesus. But I didn’t know Jesus.

Now I see: this is how the truth sets you free.

Not through knowledge. Not because I know all the lies up there are wrong. I’ve always known that, and that hasn’t healed me.

The truth sets me free because Truth has a name: Jesus frickin Christ.

And it is in my relationship with Jesus that I am set free. Not because I know all these facts about Him. But because I know Him personally.

Beloved, who are you?

relationship with Jesus Christ

The world (and the enemy) might say you are ugly. disfigured. dirty. unforgiven. hurt. broken. lost. stupid.

But Jesus says you are chosen. forgiven. accepted. “mine”. free. cherished. beautiful. healed. created. loved.

And I know those lies wiggle in because someone probably said them to you before. It’s so easy to replay those moments in your head over and over again until you start believing what they said about you. And it’s okay to feel hurt.

But let Jesus’s voice be louder. Ask Him to speak over you when the lies come back. They will come back. But in the name of Jesus they have no choice but to leave.

Jesus loves you so much. He wants to see you set free from those lies. Let His voice be louder than the lies.

“You Are Not Far” by Young Oceans

Published by Annabelle Healy

Annabelle Healy is 17 and loves to write fantasy novels mostly because high school AP classes and homecoming dances are too stressful. Her novels have received multiple awards including a gold medal from the national Scholastic Art and Writing competitions, placing her beside award alumni such as Stephen King and Truman Capote. She is currently publishing her debut fantasy novel, Far Below Human Eyes with Morgan James Publishing.

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