Luke 22:54-62:
Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house. But Peter was following at a distance.
When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him in the firelight, stared at him and said, “This man also was with him.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” A little later someone else, on seeing him, said, “You also were one of them.” But Peter said, “Man I am not!” Then about an hour later still another kept insisting, “Surely this man also was with him; for he is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man I do not know what you are talking about!”
At that moment, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.”
And he went out and wept bitterly.
Last night, I was reading the story of the crucifixion. This specific passage struck me in a way it hadn’t before. Namely, the part I underlined first: “Peter was following at a distance.”
I caught myself. Do I follow Jesus at a distance?
Do you follow Jesus at a distance?
Something was harrowing about how Peter was still a “follower” in this instance. Still trailing along behind Jesus, keeping an eye on him. From a healthy distance, so he remained safe.
How many of us operate in the same way?
We still “follow” Jesus, but from a safe distance – because proximity to Christ is dangerous. Being close to Jesus threatens the safety of our comforts, our habits, our clean hands, our full bank accounts, our full bellies, our clean clothes.
How many of us tune into Jesus like he’s a news station? Logging in to the Bible when the story feels relevant, or our emotions align with what we’re reading. Or maybe we sit through church, eyes glazed over during worship, but hearts happy as we leave because we did it – we “followed” Jesus this week.
I thought deeper about the characteristics of a loose follower – one who trails behind Jesus watching from a safe distance.
In this passage, Peter denies Jesus the moment another person is closer to him than he is to Jesus. In the story, he’s not tied to Jesus’s hip. He’s gathered around a fire with other regular people. And the moment they start questioning, Jesus is forgotten.
This, I believe, demonstrates a terrifying truth: a true follower can only remain so if they stay close.
It does not matter if Jesus has already “proved it” to you. You may already believe God is real, that Jesus died for your sins and rose to life again.
But at the end of the day, proof will not stick you to Jesus. And unless you cling to him like a gnat clings to honey, you will drift away.
I’ve seen this in my own life over the past few years. Ever since Nathan and I got married, I’ve honestly struggled in my spiritual life. I had a routine of time with Jesus when I was single, but when we got married, all previous routines were discarded and reworked. Everything changed.
I floundered for so long. So many months of trying something new, then failing, then wallowing, then trying again, then failing again. Over and over again I felt abandoned by God. “Why is it this so hard?” I begged. He’d felt so close before – why did he feel so distant now?
A simple truth has wormed its way into my heart this year though. After all the striving, I finally raised my white flag. And I just started spending time with Jesus every day. Even if it was a total flop, and I had nothing to say, and I just sat in silence for thirty minutes.
Something beautiful has started happening. The closer I stick to Jesus, the more of him I see.
And the days I skip time with him, I’m painfully aware of how yucky I am.
I am as desperate for him as a flower needs water.
As I say this to you, I’m saying it as much to myself:
Jesus was not meant to be “followed” like you follow an influencer or track the news. Jesus was meant to be followed like a sheep follows its shepherd.
A sheep doesn’t stay close because it’s good to be informed of the shepherd’s whereabouts, or to take advice from him. The sheep clings to the shepherd because it will die if it doesn’t. Should it wander far enough from his herd, the wolf is hungry and waiting. Distance isn’t a matter of effort for the sheep. It’s a matter of life and death.
The loose follower doesn’t just keep their autonomy and comforts close. They keep the death that has weasled its way inside their soul, too. And that death won’t leave until you cleave to Jesus.
It doesn’t feel like death in the moment. It feels comfortable to step away and keep your distance. It’s quiet and alluring, unassuming and sweet. You hardly notice you’re far until Jesus is a speck on your horizon.
But closeness is the opposite – it doesn’t feel sweet in the moment. It feels like work. Half the days I sit with Jesus, my emotions war against me, and I’m tired, and I don’t have anything to articulate. The voice in your mind will convince you this is a waste. Better to get busy. Better to stay productive.
But intimacy with Jesus sweetens with time. And I don’t know what to tell you other than to stick it out. I promise it’s worth it.
So do you wander behind Jesus at a distance? Do you tune in when it feels easy and pluck Jesus’s words like the occasional vegetable that finds its way onto your plate? Do you follow him any more intently than you follow the influencers on Instagram?
Or do you stay close, close as you can?
The easiest way to tell is if your hands are dirty and you’re bleeding all over. Because if that was Jesus’s posture, it should be ours, too.
This isn’t a call to strive or work your way to salvation. Jesus already rescued you, and you didn’t do a thing to deserve it. You don’t need to have the perfect life to earn his love. This isn’t about earning or proving anything.
But if you love Jesus already, your life should look different. I need the lesson as much as anyone else.
Thank you so much for reading 🤍 I’ll leave with this verse from the passage above: “The Lord turned and looked at Peter.“
Jesus sees you regardless of how far away. And he’s waiting for you to draw closer.
The story ends with my favorite passage in the Bible, John 21:
Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”