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Single but not Alone

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes:)

Singleness isn’t a disease to be cured. It’s a season to be experienced.

I think Valentine’s Day tends to separate the world into two parties: the haves, and the have-nots, the lovers, and the unloved…the couples, and the singles. And I know I’ve written on singleness before, but I think it’s especially timely this weekend.

Truthfully, I write on what I struggle with. I need to hear God’s truth about singleness myself, because every day I battle with the lie that I’m unlovable, or gross, or possessing some abhorrent quality that deters me from all guys. And those lies become very loud around Valentine’s Day. So I hope, if you are like me, you can be encouraged this weekend to hold fast to the truth.

I read through my journal last night just for fun. Looking back at the struggles I’ve faced in the last year and a half, it’s crazy to see how I’ve changed, how my stressors have shifted and how my mental state is reflected in the writing style I choose for each entry. But a common theme throughout the entries was my struggle with singleness.

Here are some of the sentences I wrote on some of my hardest days. Each of these entries were from February, last year. Almost exactly 365 days ago.

“God, I’m tired of wishing I was dating someone, and then remembering I can’t until I figure my life out. No one’s going to want to date a confused, unstable idiot like you. But part of me wonders if I’ll never figure it out after all…and always be lonely.”

“I’m tired of feeling so lonely, God. I just want someone to hold me, to hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek and tell me everything is going to be alright, even though I realistically know that probably isn’t true, at least not in a temporary aspect. I just want that so bad.”

“God, I’m trying to trust your timing. I know you have a plan, and you are faithful, and you are good. God, help me to not doubt you! Help me to trust you!”

I’m okay sharing these because I know the other side of the story, the hope in my life that belongs to Jesus. And these were a full year ago. But I still struggle with similar thoughts to this day, and I don’t think I’m alone.

This morning I want to draw up alongside you and remind you what God says. Because I need to hear it just as much as any of us do haha! And Jesus loves us way too much to go through seasons of singleness alone. Here are some verses I found:

Isaiah 40:31 ~ “But they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 ~ “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Psalm 27:14 ~ “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Ecclesiastes 8:6 ~ “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s troubles lie heavy on him.”

Galatians 6:9 ~ “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I believe there is a season to come. A season that looks different than this season of singleness. And I am SO excited for that season, but it’s not here yet. This doesn’t mean it won’t come, it just means it hasn’t come yet. So I’m learning to trust God’s timing for that season.

Singleness isn’t a disease to be cured. It’s a season to be experienced. You’re not any less valuable or loved because you are single. You aren’t any less beautiful or incredible or interesting because you are single. You are single because God’s plan would have it that way. You are single because God wants to you to feel this season and spread out and smell the flowers and trust his timing, because He is bigger than it all.

I attached two of my favorite songs ever to the bottom for you to listen to. Both of them talk about seasons and God’s timing. Shut your bedroom door, close your eyes, and listen to these this weekend. You won’t regret it:)

Jesus loves you so much! And I pray you’ll never forget that, especially not this weekend:)

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