You may recognize the name Haley Pham, you may not.
She’s a huge content creator, Christian, and new author. And she’s married to Ryan Trahan, a titan on YouTube.
Following her journey has sparked a few thoughts in me.
For me, Haley represents everything I’ve ever wanted to be. A successful content creator, while juggling marriage at the same time. Stepping into the publishing industry young and green – yet come out with a New York Times Bestseller debut novel. Writing clean romance and pulling it off, representing a strong Christian the writing world.
It’s so impressive. And I think when you see people in your field, racing ahead of you with flying colors, it can spark one of two reactions within yourself: applause, or jealousy.
The jealousy points out all the quotes from other authors in her front pages, and asks “Why didn’t you get those?” The jealousy analyzes her writing, ranking it next to yours, and when it discovers her crafts is better, it clouds your mind with self deprecation. The jealousy watches her novel climb the charts, while yours sits dusty at the bottom of the 12th page on Amazon.
These thoughts have weaseled in at times, stealing my joy like a child pilfering from a cookie jar, until nothing sweet is left.
A younger me would have never followed Haley Pham. A younger me would have never bought her book, or raced through the pages. And even if I did, a younger me would shut the book the moment I read a part of the story that impressed me.
But today, I’ve learned a different response: Applause.
I remember when my book came out in senior year. A defining line was drawn between my friends: those who celebrated with me, and those who slipped away in jealousy. I could feel the difference. And while that was such a small victory in the grand scheme of my life, it felt so big at the time.
Despite all the celebration, those few people who slipped away or didn’t celebrate with me left a mark.
Now, as an adult, I’ve been on the other side many times. A friend gets married earlier than you, and you’re still waiting. Then your friends start having kids, and you wonder when your home will be filled with the sounds of tiny pattering feet. One couple gets the house you’ve been working so hard for, another gets the promotion. One mom gets to be a stay-at-home mom, while you question if you’ll ever get the privilege.
A friend who pulls away in jealousy hurts. And regretfully, I’ve been jealous many times.
It’s a sobering thought: you may never make the money you want. You may never become a New York Times Bestseller. You may not have children, you may not get married, you may not have the job or the house or the land or the garden.
Nothing earthly is promised. Only this: “I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:20)
Not to discourage trying. We also live in a world where God blesses hard work. But at the end of the day, above all our toiling, God controls it all.
Do you know he could grant you that exact wish you’ve been hoping for right this second? He could snap his fingers, and there it is: the husband, the bestselling novel, the follower count, the house, the kids.
And in the same breath he could take it all away. With a flick of his hand, your life could crumble – job gone, marriage broken, health destroyed.
I don’t demonstrate this to strike fear. I say it to help us to be still, and know that He is God.
So when others succeed, getting everything you’ve ever wanted, what will you do?
I’m choosing to applaud, and celebrate, and stay curious.
Nothing beautiful is easy. So when someone else has something beautiful, why try to dim it?
In the world, there’s a table filled with what we call the 1%ers. The people who crack the code and rise to the top. The billionaires and CEOs and leaders. The bestselling authors.
You might not get a seat at that table in this lifetime.
But rest assured, in heaven there’s a much bigger table. And there’s plenty of room at that table for you to take a seat.
The more you work for God, the less you feel tied to the earthly indicators of success. Because you know at the end of the day, you’ll be able to share that work with Jesus, and his approval means more than a million likes or a thousand book signings or a billion copies sold. His “well done, good and faithful servant” is worth more than you could ever make in a lifetime.
So I’m striving for that, and trusting him with the rest.
And Haley? She just accomplished a hard, incredible thing. And even if she never sees it, I think it’s our job to rally around her and celebrate.
Snag her novel here if you’re into clean romance!
Thanks for reading + hope you have a lovely weekend 🫶 Bye!